MISSING

The Twelve Steps of Honest Greens Anonymous

Tick the ones you’ve completed. No judgement. Some judgement.

1. 1We admitted we were powerless over the brownie's disappearance — and that our snack schedules had become unmanageable.
2. 2We came to believe that a chain restaurant could restore what was lost, if enough of us asked nicely, in writing.
3. 3We made a decision to turn our grief into a petition.
4. 4We made a searching inventory of every Honest Greens location, just in case one of them "forgot" to update the menu.
5. 5We admitted to the barista, to ourselves, and to the group, the exact number of times we've asked "do you still have the brownie" this month.
6. 6We were entirely ready to remove all lesser desserts from our order.
7. 7We humbly asked the kitchen, again.
8. 8We made a list of everyone we've dragged to Honest Greens specifically for this brownie, and became willing to make it up to them.
9. 9We made direct amends by starting this petition instead of just complaining in the group chat.
10. 10We continued to check the app menu, and when the brownie was still missing, promptly signed again.
11. 11We sought, through protest signs and a mildly aggressive font choice, to improve our conscious contact with the culinary decision-makers at Honest Greens.
12. 12Having had a dessert awakening, we carried this message to other brownie-havers, and signed our name below.